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Sunday, August 13, 2006 

It's Official!

I am insane.

I've had two dates with a very nice guy. He likes me. He really likes me. He's sweet, funny, very nice. He's stable: he even recently bought a home in San Francisco - no small feat in itself. He keeps talking about things "we'll" be doing in the future. He's cool with my kid, but doesn't want any of his own. The problem? I am just not feeling him. It's ridiculous. Stupid, actually. But true. So, now I have to be a grown up and tell this great guy that I'm not interested. WTF is wrong with me? God knows, he could be the last guy that genuinely wants me.

Who am I interested in instead? No, Tomate, not the French guy whose email you translated for me. No. I'm interested in a fucking freak. This guy I've, ahem, "seen" three times. I am dying to go into detail about what makes this guy a freak (okay, "freak" is harsh - he's just much kinkier than I could ever be. I'll leave it at that for now.) My point is, he has no interest in me...clothed.

Do you appreciate the insanity, people? I don't want the rational, I only want the drama of being rejected, of being the victim. See the pattern? I truly believe I need professional help.

Yes, I would agree profession help is required.
And only because, I do this too! I'm an idiot!

Good Luck with that sweets. But I don't beleive in forcing yourself. If it ain't there, it ain't gonna get there.

I think thats a universal problem with us girls.. we always want the bad one /sigh.. Good luck with that!

SERIOUSLY--send the nice, stable guy with the house in SF my way. I've never been the one to want the bad boy. A guy who can stand up for himself and takes no crap, sure, but a guy who actually likes you and doesn't want to play games--that's very, very rare.

Men = Headaches. Period.

You are catching me on a bad day. My husband is driving me bonkers. Why didn't I stay single again? Arrgghh...

Go with your gut is the best advice I can give, corny as it is...

I translated someone's email? Gosh, buzzgirl, I think we gotta stop having drinks together because I CAN'T REMEMBER SH.. afterwards! Pfewww...

Euh, if you want my opinion on what you wrote, I'll tell you:

The problem? I am just not feeling him. ... these 5 little words right there are the deal breaker.

By the way, I totally agree with JennC: gut knows. SERIOUSLY.

OK, this being said, does this guy like tomatoes? Just checking...

I agree with Tomate and JennC. I don't think it really is the bad guy vs. the nice guy issue here. On paper, yeah, maybe the one guy has more tangible and secure assets, so to speak. But if you aren't feeling "it," then you just aren't into him. I know, I too try to rationalize these things but it really comes down to that gut feeling.

No, that gut feeling doesn't always mean that a particular guy is golden...but you can't force yourself to have feelings for someone because they've got so much going for them on paper.

As easy as it is to tell you all this, I really do the same thing to myself!

Bottom line: you can't force that gut feeling/desire, regardless of how wonderful a person he might be. There is nothing wrong with you. He's just not right for you and you seem to realize that this other more exciting guy really isn't right for you in the long run either.

Sadly, this is the only way we can hope to find the right one...slowly and and painfully!!! :-)


I didn't have that "it" feeling for my husband, but one day it just showed up.

I think I kinda know what you're feeling right now. And here is my uber-wise advice to you: Don't dump him, just be upfront with him and tell him that you're just not sure. If he's OK with that, there is nothing wrong with taking it really slow.

I used to get that "it" feeling from my bad boys---guitarists, alcoholic writers, DJs, cops, and firemen....and all of my break-ups ended with the cops being called and someones belongings on fire on the front lawn.

Finally I wised up and fell for the nice guy.

p.s. Or you could just dump his ass and I'll see about finding you a French husband...

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