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Monday, September 11, 2006 

Football and E

I spent yesterday at E's place watching the 49ers get their asses handed to them by the Cardinals. I don't know why I was so surprised by the fact that he's a huge football fan, but I was. I don't think he prefers it over sex, but he did ask if he could go watch the game very soon afterwards. So we watched the game. And went back to his room at half-time. And then watched the rest of the game (we were a little late getting back to the third quarter.) I like him. So, of course there's a problem.

I saw G leaving a bar with another woman on Saturday. Totally random. I sputtered a "Hello." He just smirked at me and said "Hey, how's it going?" Dude. I totally wanted to vomit. It felt like I had been kicked in the stomach. Why? He is such an incredible asshole. Really a dick. With some serious issues. And I can't stop thinking about him even as I'm getting closer to E. He even sent me an email today (well, I guess he sent it yesterday, but I got it today.) It's kind of mean, actually. He's just rubbing my face in the fact that he's fucking other women (yes, I KNOW I'm a hypocrite.)

I cannot allow myself to be happy. I don't know how. On that note, I'll leave you with the lyrics to my theme song, "Only Happy When it Rains" by Garbage. By the way, Shirley Manson is one woman I would go gay for in a minute. She wouldn't have to ask twice. Of course, she's Scottish! Figures.

Only Happy When it Rains

I'm only happy when it rains
Im only happy when it's complicated
And though I know you can't appreciate it
I'm only happy when it rains
You know I love it when the news is bad
Why it feels so good to feel so sad
I'm only happy when it rains

Pour your misery down
Pour your misery down on me
Pour your misery down
Pour your misery down on me

I'm only happy when it rains
I feel good when things are going wrong
I only listen to the sad, sad songs
I'm only happy when it rains

I only smile in the dark
My only comfort is the night gone black
I didnt accidentally tell you that
I'm only happy when it rains
Youll get the message by the time I'm through
When I complain about me and you
I'm only happy when it rains

Pour your misery down...pour your misery down (x6)

You can keep me company
As long as you don't care

I'm only happy when it rains
You want to hear about my new obsession
Im riding high upon a deep depression
I'm only happy when it rains...pour some misery down on me (x7)

:( I wish there was something I could do to make it all better -- you seem like such a wonderful person, and I want you to be happy!!!

You seriously deserve so much better than this G character, although I know it's hard for you to let go. Love stinks :(

G is a complete and utter asshole. Gar.

But what's wrong with E?

You ARE a WONDERFUL PERSON! I'm sending you good vibes. Wish I could see you again soon.

Once again, we are in parallel situations, somewhat. Shit, close enough! This year has been such a challenging and emotional one. I keep asking myself just how much more I can take. Apparently, more than I think. I told myself to completely stop dating but that isn't a solution either.

As always, I am wishing you the best. You are a good person and it is encouraging to see women such as yourself, that value themselves and can be honest about how they are feeling.

Dear Ms Buzz.

Just dropped by. I came via Paris Daily Photo and from there some other links. I dunno, just wandering around.

Came by here. I'll come back again.

I'm Scottish, I've met Shirley and she is the sweetest, coolest gal I've ever met.

Have you ever listened to her original band? The band called "Goodbye Mr MacKenzie"... oh and check out Mr Vig's work too.... check out the tracks to do with Carlton Hill... anyways... good luck to you.

I hope to come back to these parts again... If you come by my neck of the woods, do say Hi.


You said, "Shirley Manson is one woman I would go gay for in a minute." I'm still laughing. So, why not give it a spin? Maybe that's what you need to lighten your spirits...

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