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Thursday, October 02, 2008 

What You've All Been Waiting For (sarcasm)

I don't have any judgement about who anyone has consentual sex with. Really, I don't. If there are no children or animals involved, rest assured, that what you do in your own private life is all good with me.

HOWEVER. Don't tell me you love me, commit to a monogamous relationship, have a discussion about not using condoms, pay for birth control pills and then... let me find out that during the ENTIRE duration of our relationship you've been f'ing random men, women and trannies from craigslist (literally anyone who would have sex with you) and then coming home and having unprotected sex with me.

That's bad enough, I know. But there's more... The last time I had unprotected sex with anyone? 1994. When I got pregnant.

One of the most frustrating things for me is that I will never know why or how he could do this to someone he supposed "loved." In my opinion, he is evil.

This is an email he sent me literally the day before shit went down: "Hiya. Just wanted to say I had a great time this weekend. Thanks again for renting the car and doing the driving. I really do appreciate our time together. I don't think I've ever felt this loved before and it really means a lot to me Buzzgirl. I don't say this often enough, but you're a great girlfriend and I feel very fortunate to have you in my life. I love you very much."

Yes, I've been tested for HIV, though I'll need to go back in three months to be retested. No, I haven't gone in yet for the battery of other tests I need to take. I just haven't been up to it.

Also, can I just say, my 13 year old daughter, while riding in the car with a friend of mine asked her "When, Scott cheated on my mom, was it with a man or a woman?" My friend was so flustered she replied, "Oh, um, I don't know." When she told me later, my reaction was "Oh my god. Am I the only one who didn't know my boyfriend was blowing guys?!" I mean, fuck! I was a theatre major. I've lived in San Francisco for 15 years. I know the gays! My gaydar was (is) on the fritz.

So, I've been living under a rock for a few months.

And yeah, I turned off comments for this post.

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