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Wednesday, October 24, 2012 

Uh-oh

I feel sick.

"Meir" is in town. We're not friends on Facebook, but his page isn't private. He posted yesterday that he was at the airport on his way to SFO.

Now, I am fucked either way: I keep obsessively checking my email to see if he's contacted me yet, and; I'm terrified that he'll contact me and I won't say "No."

I'm afraid of seeing him, and just as afraid that he won't want to see me.

I haven't had any contact for three months, and while it was hard not to email him, it got easier. Now it's difficult. Again.

Damn it.

He emailed me to tell me he's here for the next week, and that we should get dinner, or go to a show.

I feel happy that he asked. I also feel (literally) queasy - which clearly is a sign that it would be a bad thing to see him, right?


I dont know how the hell I happend upon your blog, but I've read some funny stuff. Our time is coming to an end was interesting.

This will be an obligatory comment, but you sound hot. And smart is hot. Good luck with this

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