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Wednesday, February 06, 2013 

The "R" Word

So, Meir is in town (or, more accurately in the Bay Area - he's staying about 40 mins away from SF).

We went to dinner last night, and he was telling me that as he gets older (he's an ancient 38 years of age) that sex has become less and less important to him. In fact, he says, in terms of time management, he'd rather just masturbate. ORLY?

I asked him, "So, if we have sex again, you'd be doing me a favor?" To which he replied "No. We're in a relationship. I care about you. Sex is part of that."

What the everloving fuck?

Honestly, I've been operating under the assumption that he doesn't really even *like* me that much (and why I would continue to see someone who I don't think likes me is another conversation...).

My stomach kind of dropped, and I've been trying to figure out why. I think a lot of it was surprise, certainly, but also, this Relationship (with a capital "R") has NO CHANCE of becoming, well, anything. He's not available. Period. I already feel shitty about dating him (or whatever the hell it is we're doing).

Dafuq am I doing?

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